10 replies to this topic

[nowheretohide]

So I finally, after years of procrastinating about it, showed up in church this past Sunday. I hadn't been in 7 years, and the last time I was at my church I was totally put off by the minister's mixing patriotism and politics into the service (he's a reservist who has been recently served in Kosovo and Iraq). I can't tell you how much that crap triggers me on top of my own belief in not mixing religion and politics. But I missed being involved at church and though I considered visiting other congregations, it is intimidating to go someplace entirely new. I figured it was worth revisiting my church first just to see what was up. It was weird is what it was. Many of the people I associated with were gone (mostly died). The inside had been redone so it looked different. There were just as many people I didn't recognize as people I think I maybe recognized. I hardly remember the names of the people I did think I recognized. A few people recognized me, but not so much remembered me. I haven't been active in the church for more than 10 years. So it was essentially like coming into a strange church anyhow, not 100% strange, but I would still be essentially starting close to from scratch.

I was so relieved the minister did not spend any time spouting "God Bless America" or praying for our government (although maybe he prefers not to pray for the new administration) or waving flags (seriously). What I did notice is the two enormous flags hanging off the balcony. Mind you, we already display the US flag up front on a pole, along with a flag I believe is religion-based. So while he was actually just focused on delivering a spiritual message, it was still a bit disquieting. Was the one flag that has been there all along not enough? The upside is, despite the flag display overkill, I did enjoy the service. He gave a good sermon, and it was timely for me. The service ran way over, 1 hr 25 minutes long, and it did not seem that long at all (there have been times where the usual hour seemed like 10 hours).

So it turns out, coming back after so long, stuff was still somewhat unfamiliar and new. So it may be worth visiting different congregations in the area, since I assumed it would just be a lot easier returning to the familiar. It is familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time - familiar in tradition and cultural make-up, unfamiliar in the personal sense. So I'm a bit undecided about whether this is still the church home for me or I would be better suited to taking up in a different congregation.

[nowheretohide]

I don't think that I'd be too happy with politics being served up in my church either - not something they tend to do in the UK much and I think I'd "vote" with my feet if they did.

That's pretty much what I did - not going for 7 years, but then I didn't go anyplace else either.

I am also well aware that although the denomination itself is very liberal, but the individual churches are diverse and really run the gamut, and this particular congregation is conservative. All of the lefty earth-hugging hippy-types I associated with have either passed away or moved on. I think I may be happier in a different atmosphere. It pretty much the last bit of what little cultural identity I was ever given, and so I have mixed feelings about switching it up, even within the same denomination. We had 3 generations of family in that church. I feel like I should make it fit.

[nowheretohide]

So I am off to visit a new congregation this morning. I figure it won't be any worse/uncomfortable than my home church.

[nowheretohide]

Actually when I got up this morning, I wasn't really planning to go to church, but then last minute I decided I really didn't want to wait another week and hurried out the door. I spent my coffee time looking at various websites and some YouTube videos. The fact that churches are using new media to reach out to people is great, because I can get some sense from the comfort of my own home what the actual service is like.

I attended a church smack halfway between my old neighborhood and my current one. While being located in a community that I would expect to be as conservative as my church, the website seemed to indicate much less old school stodginess.

I loved it! People were friendly and welcoming from the get go. A couple children were serving as ushers alongside adults (full out collecting the offering as well, not just handing out calendars). It had a good energy. The pastors are a young married couple (yes husband and wife both serving as co-pastors). There was a strong sense of community in the congregation. There was a surprise cruise-themed celebration after the service in lue of the usual coffee hour. An old married couple was heading off on their 101th cruise and would be celebrating their 52nd wedding anniversary tomorrow. I felt a little funny going downstairs for something more than a coffee hour, because this was obviously personal, but I did. I went down there eve though it felt weird - some stranger crashing a party. I'm not a mingler either. I am that shy introvert in the corner, even with a group of people I know. People were really friendly and introduced themselves and struck up conversations. The current Director of Christian Education actually used to be the Director over at my church when I was a teenager. She hadn't been over there in 12 years, (and longer since that when she was Director of CE) and was happy to tell me her impression of the church community.

It got me excited. The building and people had a good energy from the get go. This congregation seems active and lively with a lot going on. There was a good mix of young and old (and middle-aged) people in attendance. I am going to return there and see how it pans out. It's closer to home. I do admit I feel a bit guilty going to another church, although this sort of thing happens all the time, people cross-mix, they sometimes go off to other congregations for long periods even if they never transfer their membership. But I still feel a little guilty for considering a new church family rather than being loyal to the old one, even if it isn't well suited to me to anymore.

[nowheretohide]

That's my plan - to keep going! Will have to go a bit to get a real good feel for whether this is a good match for me both spiritually and as a community/church family.

It is a little weird to start going to church again regularly after so long.

[nowheretohide]

Well, this continues to go well. They had a pancake breakfast fundraiser, so I joined people downstairs for pancakes and the like. One of the women I sat with had come about 4 or 5 years ago. She had decided to find a new church because the old one just didn't fit anymore, and how hard it was because she'd been at that church for 40 years, and she even felt guilty about going to another church. I so totally relate. I feel guilty for going to another church, and it may not have been 40 years (only because I'm still under 40), but it's not very much short of that, having started in Sunday School at age 5. Even if you don't count the years I was away, I was there regularly 20+ years. As an adult I served on committees. I ushered. I was a teller. I was part of the newly formed young adult group. I did not have a passive relationship with my old church when I was there. Plus my grandfather was there, and my father is still there. You bet I feel guilty about it.

[nowheretohide]

I've been going to this church a month of Sundays now, and will be sorely disappointed if I wake up tomorrow and the snow is deep enough to require shoveling. I have horrible neck and back problems, and I'm unlikely to shovel out in a rush to get anywhere...except maybe work, and often then I just walk down the street to the bus. Public transportation on a Sunday morning...connecting to a second bus line I suspect does not even run on Sundays...forget it.

[nowheretohide]

So far so good, although this past Sunday service was canceled due to being in the midst of a major snow storm. I've never seen so many church cancellations. I was disappointed, because we are coming up on Christmas, and it's very festive and celebratory. There was also supposed to be evening caroling, which I assumed was also canceled, plus I spent my afternoon shoveling out. I was going to skip Christmas Eve, because I have FOO dinner, but I think since this past Sunday was a wash, I'll maybe tell them to expect me late. Dinner never starts on time anyhow. We're always waiting up for someone. I am ushering next Sunday (Dec 27). I was on usher rotation a long time ago at my old church, but I still am new here, and have never been out of the Sanctuary (which begs the question, where do I take the plate) and am still getting to know people. I've been there less than 2 months.

Because of the snow, I did check the bus I would need, in case church was still on (really, school cancels at the drop of a hat, but church is usually open) and it does not even start running until late morning, long after the service starts.

[nowheretohide]

Update!

I was received officially as a new member this past Sunday, which seemed quick, but truthfully, I know I would not return to being active in my old church and I am staying within my denomination, so I did not see it as big a step as changing denominations entirely (though arguably, the differences between any two churches could essentially amount to the same thing). I have been active in new church and enjoy it, and it is a good fit with my own values and beliefs.

My dad is away for 3 weeks, and thusly no one at old church has said anything to him...yet...which is likely how he will find out. He knew I was going over to new church, but actually switching my membership will be news to him.

Onward!

[Carly]

Are you still enjoying new church?

I found one that I really enjoy. I had a mega head cold yesterday and so I coudln't go...and felt disappointed! After years of not attending regularly (it felt like such a chore) I must say it feels nice going, looking forward to it...not as a task to check off a list, but because I enjoy it.

[nowheretohide]

That's great HV! I am still with this church and enjoying it and participating in various activities. I officially transferred my membership over to this church about a month ago. I would feel disappointed, especially early on, if I could not make it for one reason or another. We'll be moving into a summer schedule in about a month, and there won't be as much activity. One of the groups I am involved with regularly breaks from June-Sept.